Magic Mountain Coaster Report

Six Flags Magic Mountain Roller Coaster Report

Two days, sixteen roller coasters, 28 rides (including repeats)

Coaster Summaries (listed in the order they were ridden)

BATMAN The Ride: Installed in 1994, this is the third of twelve “Batman” model inverted coasters from the Swiss duo Bolliger & Mabillard (B&M). A fairly smooth fun ride with five inversions. Make sure your shoes are on tight or go barefoot as riders’ feet dangle below the seats. Rode it once.

THE RIDDLER’S Revenge: This is one of the best stand-up roller coasters. It’s a 1998 installation from B&M with a long (4370 ft) and well-paced layout. It has six inversions including an inclined loop (a vertical loop tilted sideways). The only drawback is that it’s an ear-banger. Your head will be bouncing from side to side off of the restraints. Rode it once (and only once due to sore ears).

GREEN LANTERN First Flight: To ride this type of coaster; you need to go to Finland, Spain, Sweden or California. Built by Intamin, the track lies in a single plane (it’s two dimensional - you’re either going up, down, forwards or backwards) and the cars spin forward or backward naturally so you may be sitting up, upside down or somewhere in between at any time. This is the first coaster I have ever ridden where I was thankful for midcourse brakes. Green Lantern can be painfully cruel with its hairpin drop curves. Rode it three times (once forward, once backward and once more because I am a masochist).

Gold Rusher: Magic Mountain’s first roller that was built for the park’s opening in 1971. It’s an Arrow Dynamics mine train that follows the natural terrain of the mountain and has a downward helix ending. Rode it once.

Apocalypse: This wooden coaster replaced the ill-fated Psyclone in 2009. It’s an action-packed twister from Great Coasters International with a double-down turning first drop. Tunnels, a station fly-through and some special effects add to the excitement. Rode it four times.

Ninja: This is an Arrow suspended coaster where cars freely swing below the tracks. Only ten were built (and five remain). It takes riders on a fun twisting course down the back side of the mountain. Rode it once.

SUPERMAN - Escape from Krypton: Originally opened in 1997, I was never too impressed with this free-fall coaster from Intamin. Cars were launched forward, climbed part-way up a tower with riders facing the sky and then fell backwards returning to the station. In 2011, new (lighter) cars were introduced. Riders are now launched backwards and travel to the tower top looking straight down at the ground. Though short, the new version with 100 mph speeds and a 328 ft drop is hard to beat for thrills. The park was only running one of the two tracks so the line was long. Rode it twice.

Tatsu: One of the best of eight flying coasters from B&M. Harnesses (upper body and leg) hold riders as they fly beneath the track. The highlight is an insane and disorienting 124 ft pretzel loop entered (and exited) from the top. Hang on to your cell phone - I lost mine on this flying beast. Rode it three times (once in the front and twice in the back).

Viper: This is the last of three Arrow 7-inversion acrobatic coasters (built from 1988 to 1990). It’s a rough head-banging ride (even with three midcourse brake runs to tame the snake). Rode it once.

X2: “X” first opened in 2002. This prototype ride where cars are positioned on both sides of the track and have secondary track controlled rotation proved to be so technically challenging and expensive that it sent the developer (Arrow Dynamics - an industry mainstay since the 1940s) into bankruptcy. In 2008, X became X2 with new trains (lighter and easier to maintain) plus special effects (music, fire, fog and lights). I’m not big on special effects - which is good because the music and fire were only working intermittently and there was no fog or noticeable lighting. A roller coaster should stand on its own based on the ride experience. So... X2 is one intense, disorienting and borderline brutal ride! Human bodies become rag dolls on this machine. The rotational transitions are not smooth so front-to-back head banging and leg flailing prevail. [Note to guys: wear a jockstrap on this one.] X2 managed to pull my camera out of a double-snapped cargo pocket and claim it for its own (even the ride crew could find no trace of it after sweeping the grounds post-closing). If you ride this; bring a neck brace, leg brace and a stash of pain relievers (preferably narcotic). Rode it three times. I’m a tough guy and would have ridden more but I was ticked about losing my Sony Cyber-shot.

Goliath: This year 2000 mega coaster offering from Giovanola has a 255 ft drop into a tunnel for starters and an intense brain blood sucking helix near the end. The midcourse brake brings trains to a complete stop (to prevent people from passing out on the helix ahead). Loose the brake I say and bring on the positive g’s. Rode it twice.

Scream: A B&M sit-down floor-less (feet dangling) coaster from B&M with seven inversions. Six Flags built this one in the parking lot (you can see the old parking spot paint on the ground). This was a special ride for me because it marked my 300th coaster (not that there’s anything magical about the base 10 numbering system, but it’s as good as an arbitrary number as any). Rode it twice (back and then front for the special occasion).

Colossus: One of only six coasters remaining by International/National Amusement Devices. It’s a twin track woodie with a 115 ft first drop. Unfortunately, the park removed a dip about halfway through the course and replaced it with a flat brake run. Now trains are slowed to the point of boredom for the second part of the ride. This could be a great coaster if Six Flags would race trains (side by side), restore the dip and remove the brake. Rode it once.

Road Runner Express: This is a stock Vekoma junior coaster rescued from New Orleans after hurricane Katrina. It’s a short but well themed and fun ride for young coaster enthusiasts in training. Rode it once.

Canyon Blaster: Here’s another one for the younger riders. It’s a 1999 family ride from Miler tucked away in Bugs Bunny Land. Rode it once.

Revolution: This landmark ride (the world’s first modern vertical looping roller coaster with tubular steel track) was designed by Anton Schwarzkopf and opened in 1976. It has a long ground-hugging layout along the front side of the mountain and includes a tunnel. Sadly, this coaster is a classic case of how a park can manage to kill a great ride. The original trains were modified to accommodate over-the-shoulder restraints which are uncomfortable and interfere with visibility. Also, there are two midcourse brakes which slow trains to speeds less than the track was designed for. Dear Six Flags; Schwarzkopf knew what he was doing. Please restore this coaster to its original operation and make it great once again. Rode it twice (back and front).

Al's Magic Mountain Coaster Ranking (Favorite to Least Favorite)

Tatsu

Apocalypse

Goliath

X2

Riddler

Superman

Ninja

Scream

Batman

Colossus

Revolution

Viper

Gold Rusher

Green Lantern

Road Runner

Canyon Blaster

Other Rides of Note

LEX LUTHER - Drop of Doom: The park cleverly added a free fall drop ride to the existing Superman tower. You can feel the tower shake when Superman cars are launched. At ~400 ft, it’s the tallest drop ride anywhere. Not for those with fear of heights.

Log Jammer: The log flume ride that opened with the park in 1971 is gone. It was removed to make room for a new roller coaster opening in 2013 - Full Throttle. I’ll miss Log Jammer (a mountainside flume ride with a double drop) but Full Throttle looks like fun.

Commentary

Feel like spending an affordable day at an amusement park free from price gouging and commercialism? Then Six Flags may not be for you. Six Flags Magic Mountain is no Holiday World. Entry prices are reasonable (we bought season passes for less than the price of two visits). But hold onto your wallet from the time you park the car until the shops close. Parking was $17, sodas were $4 and food was pricey ($9 for a slice of pizza). In addition there were ads everywhere. Walking into the park was like walking into a giant commercial. All kinds of products (snacks, credit cards, hair gel, etc.) were being hawked on signs, video monitors, in lines and even on roller coaster trains. That’s right, both Viper and Colossus had trains that were fully painted as advertisements. I’m not a fan of this dual revenue model - charging people to get in and then bombarding them with paid ads. Here’s the way I think it should work. Parks should charge whatever they want for tickets. Then people can assess whether or not its worth it for them to visit. But once guests are in, prices for things like parking and food/beverages should match the local market. And no blatant ads - people are already bombarded on a daily basis and need an occasional respite. Oh well, we’ll see how far this goes. For now, I’ll be giving preference to the smaller independent parks.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year - Sequel

Once again, it's corporate performance review time. I love this season so much that I cannot help but to break out in song. Please join me in part 3 of this series and sing along with the Andy Williams classic. Lyrics (new) are given below:

It's the most wonderful time of the year

With the cogs self-assessing

And everyone stressing to cover their rears

It’s the most wonderful time of the year

It's the hap-happiest season of all

With those budgets depleting your best bet is seeing

Your friends take a fall

It’s the back-stabbingest season of all

There’ll be ranking and rating

Some spanking, berating

And ear stinging words of reproach

There’ll be forced distributions

And pay diminution

Because that’s the standard approach

It's the most wonderful time of the year

There’ll be much missile throwing

And corporate line toeing when due dates are near

It's the most wonderful time of the year

There’ll be ranting and raving

Some childlike behaving

And ear stinging words of reproach

There’ll be forced distributions

And pay diminution

In line with the standard approach

It's the most wonderful time of the year

There’ll be corporate line toeing

And much whistle blowing to sabotage peers

It's the most blunder filled time

There’s a corporate ladder to climb

Some will knuckle under big time

Though pay raises are less than a dime

Oh the most wonderful time … of the year

Ohio Coaster-thon and Amusement Park Tour Trip Report

July 4-12, 2011

Cedar Point

Roller Coasters

Blue Streak: This 1964 out-and-back woodie is still fun. It’s a bit rough due to wear but ridable. Rode it nine times.

Cedar Creek Mine Ride: Built in 1969 by Arrow Dynamics, this double lift mine train is exactly as I remembered it. Good ride with a drop over a pond and a downward helix finish. Rode it three times.

Corkscrew: 1976 Arrow Dynamics ride with double-down first drop, vertical loop and double corkscrew. Decent ride with the typical Arrow roughness. Rode it one time.

Gemini: This is a 1978 racing coaster with steel track on a wood frame by Arrow Dynamics. It’s basically a double mine train on steroids with a 118 foot drop. Jerky ride with un-smooth transitions. The middle and front train sections are ridable but the back will beat you up (I hurt my elbow in the rear car). The park has added two trim brake sections to lessen the jerkiness. Rode this one five times.

Jr. Gemini: I was too tall to ride this 1979 Intamin kiddie coaster with a top speed of 6 mph.

Wildcat: In 1979, the park replaced it’s older Wildcat with an identical new version. It’s an Anton Schwarzkopf design suitable for traveling fairs but works well as a permanent structure. Small but enjoyable ride with three drops to ground and two helixes (counter clockwise and clockwise). Rode it twice.

Disaster Transport: This Intamin ride opened in 1985 as a bobsled and was re-themed and enclosed in 1990 as a spaceship. Either I missed something on my two rides or the theming makes no sense whatsoever. My best guess is that the renovators were on drugs at the time and no-one from park management rode it for approval. Theming aside, it is a good ride though.

Iron Dragon: 1987 Arrow Dynamics suspended. A double lift tame steel suspended coaster (where cars freely swing under the tracks). Ride it if the line is short. Went on twice.

Magnum XL-200: This landmark 1989 Arrow Dynamics steel non-looping out-and-back coaster with pretzel turnaround has a 195 foot first drop and runs along the Lake Erie beach. It has the potential  to be a great ride. Unfortunately, it is plagued by a restraint design flaw. The lap bars ratchet downward with no play room whatsoever painfully pinning riders’ legs to the seat. There is a trim brake brake at the turnaround (presumably for lessening leg pain on the return run). Rode it seven times - septuple ouch.

Mean Streak: Massive wooden coaster with a 155 foot drop from Summers and Dinn in 1991. The concept and layout is great in theory but it can be a brutally rough ride. Wooden coasters of this size require quality wood, careful profiling, and continuous maintenance. Mean Streak is in serious need of track work (especially after the second drop). There is a brake on the first drop plus a heavier mid-course brake run to alleviate wear and tear and rider suffering. Will this coaster meet the fate of other similar rides (Hercules was torn down and Texas Giant was rebuilt using steel track)? Time will tell. Rode it five times - pass the ibuprofen please.

Raptor: This is an early (1994) custom inverted coaster from Bolliger and Mabillard (B&M) with six inversions. Good ride all the way from the first 119 foot drop through the ending helix. Rode it four times (once in the front row - great visuals).

Mantis: A 1996 B&M stand-up with four inversions. Bring your ear protectors and acetaminophen - this is a rough riding headbanger (even with a trim brake on the first drop and a mid-course brake run). Two rides was enough on this one.

Woodstock Express: Expanded version of a Vekoma roller skater opened in 1999 and located in Camp Snoopy. Good coaster for kids. Rode it once.

Millennium Force: Year 2000 offering from Intamin with a 300 foot drop and over 6000 feet of track. One of the best steel coasters in existence. First turn g-forces are strong enough to cause grey-outs. My vision would typically return on the hill after the first tunnel. Rode this one five times (would have ridden more but lines were prohibitively long).

Wicked Twister: Linear induction motor (LIM) launched inverted shuttle coaster with two spiral towers from Intamin in 2002. Worth riding if the wait is short. Went on twice.

Top Thrill Dragster: 2003 Intamin hydraulic steel cable launched coaster. Dragster goes from 0 to 120 mph in 4 seconds then goes 400 feet straight up and straight down. Short but thrilling. Not for the faint of heart. Rode it three times.

Maverick: Opened in 2007, this is the park’s newest coaster. It’s a steelie from Intamin with two linear synchronous motor launches and a beyond vertical (95 degree) first drop. This is a high speed ground hugging twisting ride that takes pain to a new level. Lap bars tend to tightly pin riders’ legs to the seat and the sudden turns bash peoples’ ears against the shoulder restraints (do not wear ear rings - unless you like to bleed). Rode it six times (yes I am a masochist).

Other Rides of Note

Cedar Downs: This is a classic 1921 Prior and Church derby carousel where the horses race each other. There are only three in the world.

Cedar Point & Lake Erie Railroad: The track has not changed since opening in 1963 even though the park has developed around it. The skeleton town of Boneville remains.

Shoot the Rapids: This is a new boat flume ride built by Intamin that opened in 2010. It’s anticlimactic as the second (and final) drop is small compared to the first one (85 feet). Also, the ground level flume sections are very slow.

WindSeeker: New for 2011, this is a circular swing ride on growth hormones. At 300 feet tall, it offers a great view of the park (if you don’t get dizzy).

Giant Wheel: This is supposed to be a two minute ride on a 136 foot tall Ferris wheel. For us, it turned out to be over a forty minute ride as the wheel got stuck while we were on it.

Observations

Cedar Point seems to have evolved from a traditional amusement park into a precision corporate money-making machine. Price gouging lurks around every corner. $10 to park (unless you have a season pass). ~$4 for a soda. $2 or $3 for a one time use locker (for rides that do not allow carry on items). $10 for an all day locker. There are expensive souvenir photos available upon entry and on-board most major rides. They are publicly displayed (for a brief time) but the park will not let you capture an image of the photo. No free personal pictures of yourself, you have to pay the asking price. Game areas are scattered throughout the park (it seemed like there was always a game visible from just about any location in the park). Advertising displays appear along walkways (like Kingsford and John Deere). Chain restaurants have invaded the place (Subway, Panda Express and Chick-fil-A to name a few). Theft is also a problem. We had flip flops go missing in the water park and a backpack taken in the ride park. Now we know why the employees are constantly saying “Cedar Point is not responsible for lost or stolen items.” The rides are good (for the most part) but the overall enjoyability factor has sadly taken a downward turn.

Kings Island

Roller Coasters

Racer: This is a John Allen (same guy that worked on the Cedar Point Blue Streak) wooden dual track racing coaster that opened with the park in 1972. Kings Island was running both tracks forward synchronized for racing. The ride has been well maintained and is still as fun as I recall (yeah, my memory goes back that far). Rode it three times.

Woodstock Express: Another John Allen woodie that opened with the park. This is a small kiddie/family coaster originally called Scooby Doo. Great starter ride for the younger crowd. Rode it once.

Beast: This is the longest wooden coaster in the world (and the third longest of any type). Running since 1979, it is primarily a terrain coaster with two sizable lift hills. Unfortunately for die-hards and purists, the Beast has been declawed. There are four brake-points throughout the course that slow trains right when things start to get interesting. It’s still fun, especially at night, but no longer has the out-of-control feeling. Rode it seven times.

Vortex: 1987 six inversion acrobatic coaster from Arrow Dynamics. This ride was closed without explanation.

Adventure Express: Arrow Dynamics mine train built in 1991. A surprisingly fun mine ride with action starting immediately out of the station. Got three rides in on this one.

Great Pumpkin Coaster: 1992 Miler kiddie coaster at what used to be the entrance to Enchanted Voyage. Too tall to ride.

Flight Deck: From Arrow Dynamics in 1993, this is the last of ten suspended coasters. Only five remain in operation. This is one of the better designs with nonstop action from lift hill to station. Rode it three times.

Flight of Fear: 1996 Premier Rides LIM launched indoor coaster. This ride is a big twisted spaghetti ball of steel in a building. Fortunately, the old head banging horse collar restraints have been replaced with lap bars making for a comfortable ride. A heavy mid-course brake brings trains to a virtual stop before continuing onto the second half. Fun and disorienting ride. Only rode once due to long lines.

Invertigo: This 1999 Vekoma inverted triple inversion shuttle (formerly called Face Off) has riders facing each other. Worth riding if the wait is short. Rode it once.

Flying Ace Arial Chase: This is a small Vekoma non-looping inverted coaster that opened in 2001. Good ride for the youngsters. Rode it once.

Backlot Stunt Coaster: 2005 Premier Rides LIM launched coaster with a Mini Cooper car theme. The spiral climb after launch, special effects and outdoor/indoor combination make this a joy ride. We went on four times.

Firehawk: This is an “old” style flying coaster by Vekoma originally opened in 2001. The line was long because only a single train was operating. Some members of our party braved the line for a ride. I skipped it. Luckily, I had a chance to ride it in 2004 when it was located at Geauga Lake. Not a bad ride but more of a novelty than anything else.

Diamondback: KI’s newest coaster built by B&M in 2009. Tall, steep, fast and long. The cars are surprisingly comfortable (nap-worthy) and have floor-less V shaped seating for a floating sensation and great visibility. The mid-course brake over-slows the trains for the second half. Other than that, it’s an excellent ride. Rode it five times.

Son of Beast: This giant wood coaster was built in 2000 and has been plagued with problems (mostly structural) since opening. It has not operated since 2009. The ride is still visible but is not accessible to park guests. It has been removed from maps and promotional material. My prediction is that Son of Beast is destined for the scrap lumberyard. Fortunately, the father lives on.

Other Rides of Note

Boo Blasters on Boo Hill, a ride through ghost shooting attraction, has replaced the Enchanted Voyage cartoon character boat ride. Boo I say - bring back the boats and cartoons (but maybe not the song).

Dinosaurs Alive: Though there is an up-charge, this new for 2011 attraction is a well done educational walk through exhibit.

Windseeker: This is the same ride as the one at Cedar Point.

Stricker’s Grove

Roller Coasters

Tornado: This mid-sized double out-and-back wooden coaster was built by grove owner Ralph Stricker and opened in 1993. It is only open to the public a few days a year. Fun ride with a couple of surprise airtime pops near the end. Rode it twice.

Teddy Bear: A junior wood coaster also built by Ralph Stricker which opened in 1996. Good ride for the kids. Rode it once.

Perks for Jerks

In an effort to attract and retain top talent, technology companies often benchmark their policies against those of other similar players. In a recent review by the Technology for Humanity Consortium [known as (and for using) THC], it came to light that a major California based computer and printer corporation had an edge. The company, that will remain nameless (but whose initials are HP), uses a practice called Pay for Foul Play where an executive may receive hefty sums of cash and stock for activities ranging from falsifying expense reports to engaging in secret personal relationships with a contractor of the opposite sex. In the interest of fairness, THC is recommending that all tech companies start their own competitive programs. Many leading organizations are already on board and have launched new policies that are open to all employees (not just executives). There are an array of payout levels that include cash, stock, and other benefits distributed across a wide spread of questionable activities. Although details cannot be revealed, trial runs of pilot programs tailored to individual company preferences have proven to be enormously popular. These include Perks for Jerks, Roll in the Hay for Pay, and Expensing out of the Box. There has never been a greater time to join a tech corp. Break out that resume, call a headhunter, and start misbehaving today.

Cancer Study Results – No Link between Semiconductor Work and Mortality

The Semiconductor Manufacturing Assembly Research & Test ASSociation (SMARTASS for short) would like to share reassuring results of an exhaustive multi-year study covering numerous semiconductor industry workers that found no statistically valid scientifically proven association between overall cancer mortality and working in the semiconductor business. The study was conducted by a diverse team of researchers from Philip Morris and other trustworthy organizations. The principal finding was that work in the semiconductor industry was not associated with increased cancer mortality.*


[*relative to elderly populations, those with high sun exposure, and Russian nuclear power plant workers.]


In layman's terms, the study results mean that if you work in the semiconductor industry, you are not at increased risk of dying from cancer compared to a laboratory animal consuming ten times its body weight in toxic chemicals on a regular basis. This is reassuring news for people that can't think for themselves.


The study was recently released for publication in the Journal of Cancer Treatment for Profit (special Ka-Ching edition). SMARTASS remains committed to pretending that there is a safe work environment for all technology employees. If you have questions or concerns; please plop yourself down on a couch, smoke some cigarettes, munch some junk food, drink some water (preferably arsenic laced), and forget about it.

I Want My Google TV (?)

[With apologies to Dire Straits]

I want my

I want my Google TV…

Smart television mojo, that’s the way to do it

Play Jersey Shore from the MTV

It ain’t workin’, Viacom won’t do it

Content unavailable ‘cept for normal PCs

No it ain’t workin’, What’s the way to do it?

Lemme tell ya Smart TV seems dumb

Maybe stream some clips from Jerry Springer

Just don’t try to watch ‘em over VH1

Nobody blocks my microwave oven

Or custom kitchen accessories

No-one disables my refrigerator

It ain’t the same with Google TV

See network news in the morning when you wake up

Replay finale of So You Think You Can Dance

Watch episodes of The Office so you crack up

But with Google’s browser you don’t stand a chance

Nobody blocks my microwave oven

Or custom kitchen accessories

No-one disables my refrigerator

It ain’t the same with Google TV

I shoulda bought a laptop with WiDi

I shoulda known Smart TV was dumb

Lookin’ for medical drama, clickin’ on Grey’s Anatomy

It’s ABC, so I can have none

And what’s that new show? Hawaii Five-0?

Haven’t seen an episode since the 70’s

It ain’t workin”, CBS won’t do it

Content unavailable ‘cept for normal PCs

Nobody blocks my microwave oven

Or custom kitchen accessories

No-one disables my refrigerator

It ain’t the same with Google TV

Listen here, it ain’t workin’, What’s the way to do it?

Unplugged guitar jams on the MTV

It ain’t workin’, Viacom won’t do it

Spent my money for nothin’, I can’t even watch Glee

Spent my money for nothin’, but I can click for free

Money for nothin’, Fox-blocked from Glee

Money for nothin’, got a black-listed IP

Spent my money for nothin’, and I can’t watch Glee

I don’t want my, I don’t want my, I don’t want my Google TV

I don’t want my, I don’t want my, I don’t want my Google TV…

[The opinions herein do not necessarily reflect the views of any of the aforementioned or implied parties. Actually, they do not even necessarily reflect the views of the author. Any registered or unregistered trademarks or service-marks making an appearance are strictly incidental and rights remain with the respective owning entities. Please don’t sue me.]

The Second Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Oh boy, it’s half-year corporate performance review season. This is my favorite time period – second only to annual reviews. A sequel sing-along is definitely in order. Here we go once again to the Andy Williams classic It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year (this time with further revised lyrics):

It’s the second most wonderful time of the year

With accomplishment gathering

And everyone blathering about their careers

It’s the second most wonderful time of the year

It’s the second happiest season of all

With employees competing team work starts receding

Then slows to a crawl

It’s the second happiest season of all

There’ll be out-standers coasting

Some scapegoats for toasting

And quarreling high and low

There’ll be contrary stories

And task inventories

Though Full-Year was not long ago

It’s the second most wonderful time of the year

There’ll be much BS flowing

And horns will be blowing to out-sound all peers

It’s the second most wonderful time of the year

There’ll be prognosticating

Out-of-cycle ratings

Comparisons fast to slow

There’ll be whipping post stories

And tales that are gory from

Half-Years of long long ago

It’s the second most wonderful time of the year

There’ll be much BS flowing

And horns will be blowing to out-sound all peers

There’s a corporate ladder to climb

Though your pay raise is less than a dime

It’s the second most wonderful time of the year