I really can't stay
(But baby it's cold outside)
I've got to go 'way
(But baby it's cold outside)
This audition has been
(I’ll see to it that you get in)
So very nice
(Don’t mind my hands, heed my advice)
My mother will start to worry
(Beautiful, what’s your hurry?)
And father will be pacing the floor
(Stick with me you’ll never be poor)
My vision seems to be getting blurry
(Beautiful, please don't hurry)
Well, maybe just a half a drink more
(Put my records on while I pour)
The neighbors might think
(But baby it's bad out there)
Say, what's in this drink?
(May be some methaqualone in there)
I wish I knew how
(Your eyes are like starlight now)
To break this spell
(Drink up or your career will go to hell)
I ought to say no, no, no sir
(Mind if I move in closer?)
At least I'm gonna say that I tried
(I got three Emmys for I Spy)
I really can't stay
(I say Hey Hey Hey)
And baby it's cold outside
I simply must go
(But baby it's cold outside)
I feel like Jane Doe
(But baby it's cold outside)
I’m not really keen
(But you’re over fourteen)
On all this charm
(The Jell-O guy can do no harm)
My sister will be suspicious
(Gosh, your lips look delicious)
My brother will be there at the door
(You may be passed out on the floor)
My maiden aunt's mind is vicious
(Gosh, your legs are delicious)
Well, maybe just a cigarette more
(I have some marijuana in store)
Hey, where am I now?
(The Playboy mansion my dear)
Say, where are my clothes?
(Not needed, it’s warm in hear)
I’ve been badly bruised
(Think of it as paying dues)
I just feel spent
(You gave your unconscious consent)
I’m bound to get a lawyer tomorrow
(Think of my old age sorrow)
Dr. Huxtable goes the way of Mr. Hyde
(If I went to prison and died)
I shouldn’t have stayed
(I got over your old doubt)
Ah, but it's cold outside
